Where do we begin. I am 24. No longer beating the mid-20’s allegations. I’ll be 100% honest in that it does not bother me. I am very painfully aware that your life can slip away from you, especially since I am in a job that all but encourages it. Living for the weekend, am I right????????????????????????? So, I want to kind of get my head around this. Thus, I present 24 thoughts on my mind for my 24th birthday:

1. I sometimes wonder what the meaning of midlife crisis is, and then it’ll be a Wednesday in my 11 AM meeting when it hits me.
2. I consistently think of this Spongebob quote from Squidward: “Here’s how things work: I order the food, you cook the food, and the customer gets the food. We do this for 40 years, and then we die.”
3. I haven’t gotten a formal diagnosis, but I for sure have IBS.
4. What does being “deep” mean? I feel like that covers the breadth from what our purpose in life is to if Fortnite is a good game or not. I just hate the word now lmao.
5. Networking is stupid. Stop trying to “business-ify” everything. You’re making friends/acquaintances like a human being would. Not building a “web of connections”.
6. LinkedIn influencers: I have a thinly-veiled dislike toward you… but I respect the hustle.
7. If I were not doing what I am doing now, I wouldn’t be doing anything. And that saddens me a bit.
8. I am very thankful my parents seemed to have escaped generational trauma. Or at the very least stopped perpetuating the cycle.
9. I stopped watching movies like I used to. And I am unsure how I feel about that.
10. I’ve wanted to speak another language for years. But I just cannot get myself to pay for the programs to do it.
11. I am for sure going to date someone who will “soft-launch” me to their friends/social media. And that makes me a bit mad.
12. I stopped thinking about dating. Like seriously, it feels very useless.
13. I want to get better at art.
14. I would like to learn how to properly sing.
15. Karaoke is the only time I feel transcendent (well that and when I get blackout drunk).
16. I buy things knowing very well that they are a waste of money. Who gives a shit.
17. I grow up and I realize… high school has no bearing on your future self. And it almost pisses me off that so much emphasis was placed on it.
18. I live in a lot of privilege and with shelter, and I have not a single regret on that. Sorry.
19. I am teetering on whether it is ethical to raise kids knowing where our future may end up.
20. I’ve stopped caring if someone thinks I am a good person or not, or if someone likes me or not. Cause I like me, and that’s all that matters.
21. The very fact that an AI can write this and totally replace my art form scares me to no end.
22. Men need to stop caring about how they present. Cause at the end of the day… who cares.
23. While I care about my weight and health, I couldn’t really give less of a shit about someone else’s. Live your life, don’t let me stop you.
24. This list sucks ass.