Pretense & Circumstance

  • certainty – big thief

    I haven’t decided who I want to share this blog with. In an ideal world, I would continue writing entries and slowly build an audience of dedicated fans that would cling to my words like it was the fucking gospel, filling me with immense dread as I never thought it’d get this way (despite making the blog public). I would burn out, feeling pressure to keep writing to my rabid fanbase. Until they go feral and literally force me to write entries at gunpoint. To which my family gets involved as they try and free me from the shackles of this web based prison I have constructed for myself…

    Sorry, I just described the plot of Nerve by Arial Schulman and Henry Joost, starring Emma Roberts and Dave Franco. I lost the plot on this one I think.

    As a palette cleanser, here’s my five favorite albums in 2022:

    1. Dragon New Warm Mountain I Believe In You – Big Thief
    2. Mr. Morale and the Big Steppers – Kendrick Lamar
    3. Tana Talk 4 – Benny the Butcher
    4. Ramona Park Broke My Heart – Vince Staples
    5. Motomami – Rosalia
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  • because i’m me – the avalanches

    A lot of people who will potentially read this blog will be pretty familiar with who I am as a human being. I tend to be pretty open. But that’s not really reality. I am a very different person depending on the situation (something that I realize is pretty true for most of the people in the world). I think it has something to do with me moving around a lot as a kid. I’ve lived all over, and really never felt comfortable calling a place my hometown. So, I adapted. I changed… a lot. And because of that, I never truly felt comfortable in my own skin (until I went to therapy). So in a lot of ways I’m a chameleon. Green is my natural color, long tongue, et cetera. Anyway here’s an idea of who I am:

    • I live in the American Gardens building on West 81st Street. On the 11th floor. My name is…
    • Okay, so actually: I recently graduated with a degree in computer informat-zzzzzz…
    • I have a job that I go to every weekday that pays well and gives me insurance so that’s cool!
    • I am a cisgendered man. Using pronouns pertaining to the he, him, and his variety (but whatever, I really don’t care what you refer to me as).
    • I like watching movies (check me out on letterboxd (https://letterboxd.com/win_jayden/)) and listening to music (check me out on last.fm (https://www.last.fm/user/win_jayden)).
    • I enjoy writing because I have a lot of fucking thoughts running through my brain at any given moment and it frightens me.
    • I wrote/directed a movie that will come out sometime in 2023 (I think).
    • I am overweight and live in a consistent nightmare where I gain weight despite my best intentions.
    • I am tragically single. In a way that would make weaker men turn into incels (not a good thing).
    • I can play a character in social situations. One that can confidently navigate his way through the minutia of small talk with dumb jokes. But I am utterly terrible at following-up (see rule 4 of my first entry).
    • I do sometimes wonder if I am on the spectrum (sexually and neurologically).
    • I (used to) sometimes entertain the thought of living in a reality where I could properly address the regrets I (used to) live with.
    • Favorite fruit: Honeycrisp apple.
    • I feign smart, well-read, and sharp. But I am not (do not let me trick you!!)
    • I make a lot of jokes, dumb ones. Ones that make people question whether I am actually joking or I’m just stupid and socially inept.
    • I take inspiration from Donald Glover, my aunt, Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim, and for whatever reason, Moby.
    • I indulge in some mischief from time to time. Engage in lies and misinformation. Look at lil ol’ me being a nuisance!
    • I get really annoying when you let me go off.
    • I made/make videos for an internet website called YouTube. Very sparingly! (https://www.youtube.com/user/JJwinsalot/)

    You’ll probably get more from me as I continue to write in this blog. But as for now, I think that’s enough.

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  • what’s goodie (feat. cakes da killa) – injury reserve

    Hello. Starting a WordPress blog in the year of our lord 2000 and 22 more has to be one of the most bizarre, pretentious, cringe (uh oh I used the word) things to do. And I truly don’t really know why I am doing this. I was watching one of the great thinkers of our time: Raynecorp on TikTok, and I just felt a gumption to start writing. So, yeah. That’s it. I am trying to write every day. So today: July 11th 2022, I am going to try and write an entry every day.

    Let me set up some ground rules here before I really start doing anything with this likkle blog.

    1. You may have seen the title. I am going to title every entry with a song that may or may not: relate to what the entry is about, provide the proper vibe/setup for the entry, or just be a song I was listening to at the time. Idk, it’s a vibe thing.
    2. I labeled this “People and Society” because I had to choose a label. In reality, I am going to try and write about a variety of different topics and interests. Just because I can, and an every day blog benefits when there is variety!
    3. I am going to try and write in a variety of formats. I am a screenwriter/playwright by training (aka those are the only writing courses I’ve taken since high school). But I do want to get more reps in all sorts of formats. Namely short story writing and essays.
    4. I am particularly awful at following up on anything. So if I ever say something like: “I will finish this later…” it means I won’t finish it later lol.

    That’s it for this entry. Hope you like it.

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