I’ve been playing EA skate a lot lately. I’ve been a fan of the EA Skate games since the first one came out in 2007. I don’t remember exactly how or why, but I got into skating young. Let me caveat and say my ass can’t even Ollie. I can ride decently well, but it’s also been at least 3 years since I hopped on my board. So Tony Hawk and Skate were the only ways I could vicariously live my skate dreams. I’ve spent endless time on Skate 1, 2, and 3. Now, here’s the 4th installment, the long anticipated Skate 4. But things have changed significantly. In the 15 years since Skate 3 came out the landscape of the world, skating, and our future is now altered. We are in a period of change, big change. Change so monumental that it threatens to be the end of all that we know. And I believe that this is all represented in this new EA skate game.

Reactions to the game have been mixed to put it mildly. Younger and newer players are enamored with the gameplay, the extensive amount of content available in a free-to-play game, and the easy-going nature of it. Older and veteran players lament the lack of depth, lack of “skate” culture, and the overall vibes being off. Why I feel weirdly compelled to talk about this is I just got done watching a video from Gifted Hater on Youtube (https://youtu.be/kRSiYP9p2oQ?si=hwLVKCGkxOU21Wg_) about the old titans of skating and how they’ve gone off the deep end. People who were in the first 3 Skate titles. Guys like Eric Koston (who has ties to EDGLRD which donates massive amounts of money to Israel, to feed the ongoing genocide of the Palestinians), Paul Rodriguez (with his ongoing association with the Austin Comedy scene/right-wing/Christian media), and Andrew Reynolds (with the weird circumstances behind his coverage in his old age). It had me thinking a lot over a critique from a lot of veteran Skate gamers on this new EA skate game. They tend to lament how “skate” culture isn’t represented in this game. They claim the game feels sanitized, sterile, and corporate. The old games used to have a corporation called MongoCorp that was the “boogieman” of the series. Most times you ran into a restricted skate area or had obstacles put in your way it was most likely planted by MongoCorp. In the new game, the name has been changed to MCorp (as Mongo carries a negative connotation now, I guess) and their presence (outside of one hulking tower in one of the districts) is pretty much erased. I contend that this “lack of skate culture” isn’t tied to the game specifically (all the voices of the main cast of characters are all pro skaters and real brands are included), but more tied to the overall change in the skate culture.

The titans of the industry, the Tony Hawks, the Danny Ways, the Rodney Mullens have all been somewhat involved in the money-making machine that is capitalism. For a lot of skaters, the real money is in marketing yourself and starting a brand. Tony Hawk started Adio, Birdhouse, and leveraged his celebrity into the Tony Hawk games (what a coincidence). Danny Way took ownership of DC Shoes, Plan B, and found his way into the EA Skate games. Mullen founded Almost Skateboards and became an owner/investor into World Industries and Globe Footwear (along with appearing in the Tony Hawk games). These guys have become multi-millionaires. So it was no wonder their younger compatriots followed their footsteps.

The new age of skateboarding is probably most epitomized by the inclusion of the sport in the Olympics. Skaters had long been against the potential addition of the sport. Even the phrasing of calling skateboarding a sport offends a lot of skaters. But once Rob Dyrdek established Street League Skateboarding (SLS) and created a consistent rulebook/ format it was over. That’s all that was needed to create a place for skateboarding in the Olympics. The skating is good I’ll admit, if not very technical and clean. But watching the skaters lineup on pristine, white courses, built for optimized skating was strange to say the least. What happened to game I love?

This new Skate game includes a lot of elements of the new skate culture. Plazas built with perfectly skate-able obstacles. No one is there to stop you from skating, not even pedestrians or cars. They even got rid of the aspect of seeing your skater break their bones or get cuts/scrapes through a new feature from the in-game company Imperva-Tek. The aforementioned characters you meet voiced by pro skaters all explain directly to the player “skate lingo” as if they’re children (including the infamous “footy is short for footage”). Because, ostensibly, it is. This game is supposed to be built for the newbies and the children to introduce them to skateboarding. However, so were the previous games. So what is the sauce we’re missing from this game? Honestly, to me it isn’t missing much. I recognize the goals of the game, this isn’t meant for the hardcore skater. It never was. But to me, it made skateboarding as a whole unrecognizable to me.

In year’s past, much has been said over one of the new potential titans of skateboarding, Tyshawn Jones. His aggressive ability to market himself and create generational wealth should honestly be studied by marketing students. He’s a very talented skater, no doubt about it. But lately, he doesn’t really do that. Instead he goes about his days doing photoshoots and meeting up with fashion moguls. Now he is the one young skaters look toward for inspiration, further shifting the expectations of a skateboarding career away from what they used to be.

It’s tough to talk about all of this when the average pro skater makes significantly less money than in year’s past. Independent skater brands and companies are going by the wayside every year, even big ones like Lakai or Enjoi. Former staples of the industry. Big brands like Nike, Adidas, and Vans are now at the forefront of skateboarding, gobbling up the top pros for their brands in sponsorships. When the inevitable Nike or Adidas box/products drops in the EA skate shop, people will buy em up with the SV bucks (that are all bought using real currency). It’s no wonder why this problem proliferates. We all need to stay complicit in it. From the company making the product, to the skater riding for the product, to the consumer buying the product. It’s all part of this viscous cycle that repeats endlessly over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over…

I wrote this trying to talk myself through this game’s reception. I think that EA skate isn’t a cause of why skate culture is dying. I think it’s just mirroring it to the veterans and I think they just didn’t like seeing it in the mirror. It’s happening with everything. Every subculture we used to hold dear. It’s now just… a formless blob of everything. Nothing fulfills a specific niche, it’s now for everyone because it has to be. Otherwise it is doomed to be misunderstood, misappropriated, and shuttered into a box away from everyone else. It’s sad in a way. I miss it being simple. I miss playing skate for an hour and then going outside to try a trick. I miss even being able to sit still for an hour to play. That doesn’t happen anymore.

I’ve done it! I’ve done it again! I watched a dangerously emotional movie late at night on a Saturday! Things are going wild!!

Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind is my favorite movie of all time. This is something I have professed on multiple platforms, in conversations with people I barely know, and in my most intimate of moments in life (when I am alone with my thoughts). I want to kind of just barf my thoughts here before I lose them after rewatching it (and to think I was gonna get any writing done during my rewatch, ha!) SPOILERS FOR ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND BELOW… BE MINDFUL.

There is a lot to be said about the filmmaking. Gondry is an unsteady genius. Almost every story coming out of the production is a goldmine in what not to do as a feature filmmaker when making a film. There are so many scenes that exist on screen for a few frames at most (specifically toward the end of Joel’s existing memories of Clementine). Frames that feel accurate to the subconscious mind. Things like intimate moments in dates, little times sitting on the couch together, or a game night with Rob and Carrie. They show up for such a small moment of time in the film that it’s almost absurd to think they even needed them. Most people don’t notice them. Yet… when I did, it colored even more of the picture that is the relationship between Clem and Joel. Though after hearing tales from what happened on set, it makes you question Gondry completely. There were scenes where Gondry wanted next to no light in it. The Director of Photography, lighting techs, everyone with knowledge of cameras, told Gondry no. Because you would see nothing, cameras are not capable of picking up things without lights. Yet, Gondry persisted. Due to a tight timeline of production, the lighting techs resorted to hiding lights in key spots to illuminate the frame. Once Gondry finished the scene and watched back the tape he proclaimed “see, we didn’t need lights!”… Gondy has never had a movie reach the acclaim this movie got and I can kinda see why…

After Memento came out, Charlie Kaufman wanted to shelve this script. In his mind, he thought it’d be too similar. But producer Steve Golin convinced him to continue. I understand Kaufman’s trepidations. The somewhat loose structure leads to a movie that (to an audience) reads as a romance at first, a sci-fi second, a thriller in the middle, and just a gut punch toward the end. I think an audience would have never realized that what they really are watching is a mystery, or at the very least, an autopsy. On this rewatch, I really began to realize that this is an examination of a fledgling relationship. At the story level, you are truly trying to figure out how it all fell apart. How they separated. Yes, you do get answers in the first half (the resentment, the fighting, and the final sentiment from Joel before Clem left), but you almost don’t understand why. This aspect of the film, the real understanding of why the relationship fell apart, is why I think the ending hits as hard as it does. Let’s put a pin in that for now.

Adding to the conspiracy board that is my review of this movie that I have seen well over 12 times by now, we move to the very inspiration for the title. Taken from a verse poem from Pope Alexander (oh shit… Alexander Pope) comes Eloisa to Abelard. This (long) verse poem published in the 18th century is actually a re-telling of the story of Héloïse d’Argenteuil’s love of Peter Abelard. The title is actually said in the film by Mary Svevo to Howard Mierzwiak (during a beautiful sequence at a circus parade in Joel’s memory). It coming from Mary is particularly pertinent to the poem the title comes from. You see, Héloïse’s love to Abelard was supposed to be secret. He was 20 years older than her, her teacher, and a theologian. He was supposed to keep faithful to his teachings and devoted to his church. But Abelard and Héloïse’s love was much too strong. It eventually led to Héloïse’s family castrating Abelard and their separation. Years later, at Abelard’s insistence, Héloïse became a nun. But after reading some new work from Abelard, Héloïse’s love re-awakened and they began to share correspondence again. After their correspondence, this is where Pope writes from the perspective of Héloïse. He (writing as her) presents a dialogue to Abelard. She recounts the love they shared and, in the middle, discusses her wish to forget the love and devote herself to god. Then comes in the quote…

“How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!

The world forgetting, by the world forgot.

Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!

Each pray’r accepted, and each wish resign’d;”

If you’ve seen the film, you would know that it is revealed that Howard and Mary previously shared an affair. It became bad enough to the point that it was “agreed” (judging by the tape, it sounded forced…) that Mary would undergo the procedure to erase the memory of her and Howard’s extramarital affair. Yet… the feelings remain. Mary is highly attracted to Howard, for reasons she really cannot articulate nor really understand.

In what is essentially the b-plot of the film, Kaufman draws on the work of Alexander Pope, recounting the story of Héloïse and Peter, and adapts the story to his film. While having the character call out a quote her literal plot is inspired by… honestly you can bury me now cause writing ain’t getting better than that.

There’s something to be said about the characters. The highest liked “negative” review on Letterboxd (it was a 2 star review) mentioned they did not like the characters and found them too unlikable. That was an aspect I saw a lot more on this watch. They are 100% entitled to their opinion, but I almost want to write a defense on this aspect. Because yes, the characters are unlikable. Joel is misanthropic at times, aloof most others. Clementine is a messy bitch who acts without thinking. Mierzwiak is a cheating bastard who plays with his business way too carelessly. Patrick is a weirdo “incel” who is highly unethical. Stan plays way too fast and loose with his job, bordering on unethical. Mary (before she knew) is a loose homewrecker who barely cares for her current boyfriend (Stan). Even Joel’s friend couple Carrie and Rob are callous and clearly incompatible (they fight in literally every scene). In a cynical sense, it’s easy for me to chalk up everyone’s flaws here. But… it’s fucking real man. These are people who exist and live in the world. Their flaws give them a real sense of life. So when we see Joel and Clem’s relationship highlights, it hits that much harder to lose them. Do I think Kaufman’s more misanthropic tendencies pop up here? Yes. However, Eternal Sunshine remains one of his most human films. Because I think he understands that our memories are at the core of our beings. Cause at the end of the day, what are we without our memories? Our history?

One of the more interesting aspects explored in the film is that feelings still exist without the memory being attached to them. This is such an intriguing concept to really rattle in your brain for a bit. Some of my favorite videos on the internet are of partners who film their other partner who just came out of some drug-induced surgery and without fail, hit on their partner like they’ve never met before. Before, of course, the partner filming reveals that they are partners. To which the partner in the hospital bed becomes ecstatic. Yes, as they slowly regain consciousness, they remember everything. But the feeling remains without the brain automatically pinging that this is someone you know. There’s a beauty in that. In a scientific sense, it’s probably got something to do with the different parts of the brain not being able to communicate with each other seamlessly or something (I don’t think the research exists, so this is probably wrong). But I think it speaks to this nebulous idea of attraction and love. We love the people we love. Do we really, truly know why? Someone emotionally honest and articulate could come up with really intimate details of their thought process. Someone scientific and logical could say something about neurotransmitters and pheromone-compatibility. Someone spiritual and religious could say something about the soul and destiny. But at the end of the day… we will never be able to truly explain the why of it all. And there’s something I just really love about that. Honestly, it’s probably something to do with the shared collection of human thought. Something about it comforts me.

I want to get into the kind of implications of the world that Kaufman built. I love this casual sci-fi world that exists in the movie. They call it soft sci-fi because it focuses on emotion and soft sciences. But really, I enjoy the aspect of the world being almost exactly the same, except for one little thing. I like how Lacuna is treated like a small family practice, that people don’t even really know exists. Yet, there’s years of existence implied here. All of the files, the messiness of the office, and a lot of Mary’s off-hand lines (“Valentines’ Day is our busiest time”). This should be a worldwide phenomena, yet there’s just a little practice in Long Island that does this. It’s just a great aspect of the film that people seem to forget. I also love how Frank (Joel’s neighbor) receives a Lacuna letter in the film. Little details like that is what I am yearning for in science fiction.

I put a pin in it, but it’s finally time to talk about the ending. The ending has become somewhat of a debate in the online circles I observe. The obvious intention from the filmmakers is to create a purposeful ambiguity. Do they live this life over and over? Do they actually make it? I cannot say anything definitive or authoritative as I am not the writer/filmmaker. But using my little bit in here on how this movie is an autopsy, I think we can really make some interesting observations. Let’s say, that Lacuna isn’t the only place that erases people’s memories. After all, I did say that this should be a worldwide phenomena. Perhaps, Joel and Clem enjoy their time together for a little while. But they start to feel that resentment again, and this time, even with the knowledge that they erased each other, they go to some other place that performs the same deed. Will they do that? Knowing that they’ve done it before? I can’t say.

The proverbial debate. Is the glass half-full or half-empty? I am inclined to believe that they will eventually realize their flaws in their relationship and make a clean break. Joel finds himself in a rut, and Clem figures out what to do next. Would that be good for them? I don’t know. They share such a beautiful life together… but I don’t know. If Joel can’t get past his own issues with intimacy, and Clem can’t get past her need to change all of the time, then I highly doubt. They could make a good life for themselves, if they can address their brokenness.

Things have changed significantly since I was a 15 year old watching this movie for the first time on Netflix, alone. I’ve grown to be happier, had real intimate moments with people I care deeply for, and lived through heartbreak. Yet, some things remain the same almost 10 years later. Still a virgin, still yet to have a serious long-term relationship, and still mindlessly scroll the internet. I want to say that I learned a lot about myself during this re-watch. In truth, I didn’t. I just watched a movie I love, and wrote a lot about it. Shit happens man…

SPOILERS FOR TWIN PEAKS AND FIRE WALK WITH ME

So, I have gotten through the first two seasons of one of the most acclaimed shows of all time. A feat of network television in so many ways. Watching the show, you often wonder how Lynch was able to get certain shit on the air. The second season drags a bit, becoming a bit too mired in traditional network TV tropes (anything to do with James, Donna, and Nadine come to mine). But that may have been due in large part to Lynch departing the show to produce Wild at Heart. The show did suffer. But in the final episode of the whole goddamn show, Lynch comes back and leaves it on a fucking cliffhanger with one of the most cryptic episodes in the history of television (up to that point). Then he gets a studio to potentially produce three films set in the universe, starting off with the prequel film: Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me. It was not successful, both critically and commercially. Thus, putting a stake in the franchise as a whole.

Time has been friendly to the show and the film. It maintained a cult following over the years as people begged for a continuation. I am writing this as someone who will start the sequel series some point soon. But for now, I am going in knowing that there is a sequel. This may fuck with my interpretation, but who cares.

I just finished Fire Walk With Me. It was one of my favorite films I have seen in this little life of mine. One of the pieces I love is the overall character of Laura Palmer. Her character is intensely tragic. Sheryl Lee is one of those special actors who is absolutely unafraid. She was so intense in the film that you cannot help but love her. Despite her reckless lifestyle, when she is relieved at the end of the film, laughing that she has been saved, you can’t help but love her.

(Okay so I’ll finish this later, but 10/10 for Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me)

Nope. Jordan Peele. 9/10.

I wrote a whole ass review on Letterboxd (https://letterboxd.com/win_jayden/film/nope/), but I did want to expand on the conversation I had after with my brother and parents. So: SPOILERS FOR NOPE (2022)!!!!!!

This film, in a lot of ways, talks about the exploitation of animals and people in the filmmaking industry. The reason the animals in the film tend to get violent is they have reached their breaking point. An animal can only take so much abuse and being out of its own comfort zone before it becomes provoked. And the alien in Nope is an animal. It was very obvious. But one of the things that I think separates this film from your average PETA commercial is the focus on spectacle. Jordan intentionally buried the lede for this film with his marketing. Giving us this spectacular campaign focused on him and the actors. None of the Gordy stuff ends up in any of the marketing material (until Peele put up the intro on his Twitter account). He is one of the only directors working today that can experiment with his filmmaking in that way.

My family had a lot to say about how people of color have been exploited since the beginning of the film. Much like the chimpanzee in Gordy’s Home. I think it was something a bit buried underneath the general idea of exploitation of animals, but it’s there. It can be surmised.

I applaud Peele for this film. He killed it as far as I’m concerned.

Rico Nasty’s new album came out and I love it! It’s really solid, one of Rico’s best efforts. I’ve been a fan of her for a couple years now. But I have had trouble connecting with her previous material. Especially cause she’s a huge fan of genre blending and switching (something that is still present on Las Ruinas). But I decided to give it a shot since I saw some people talk positive about it. I like to go track-by-track when I write about music, so lets-a-go:

Intrusive – when you start with this weird glitch metal/rap thingy that’s how you know shit’s gonna go buckwild. The glitchiness reminds me a lot of Poppy’s I Disagree album (and that album is pretty fire). A fucking solid album opener.

Vaderz (feat. Bktherula) – I’ve heard of Bktherula on TikTok and I haven’t heard her much since. But the ladies killed it!The track reminds me a lot of this newer style of rap. Like Rx Papi or Carti. There’s something so cool about it.

Black Punk – one of my favorite tracks! It’s just everything that makes me love Rico. Catchy-ass hook, bust-a-bitch-ass lyrics, and a rocking-ass beat. Plus that breakdown at the end of the track??? UGHHHHHH GIMME MORE MISS RICOOOOO.

Messy (feat. Teezo Touchdown and Bktherula) – apt title. Got nothing against Teezo, but I had a hard time with his rough singing on this track. I felt this way initially about Kid Cudi’s singing on Ghost Town off Ye. But that song grew on me, so who knows? The breakbeat drums are so fucking sick though! Can’t get my mind off them!!

Phuckin Lady – a much needed lil palette cleanser. It was high time to kind of bring it down to earth with a little lower key song. But that digital sound is still present and it’s really great to hear.

One On 5 – club hit. GIMME RICO AT THE FUCKING CLUB. I think people who fuck with club music might not like this, but I like it. Sooooo we know whose opinion matters here.

Gotsta Get Paid – nahhhhhhhhhhh GIMME MORE OF THIS SHITTTTTT!!!!!! This is probably my favorite track. Rico raps her ass off on this. The Tom and Jerry ass sound is so fucking great. You’d think it get grating after a while but it fucking bangs. I need to hear more 100 gecs hip-hop production. Shit’s gas. Jpegmafia x 100 gecs when????

Watch Your Man (feat. Marshmello) – it’s great to hear Marshmello on here. Definitely something you’d expect from him, but again Rico talked her shit. So I cannot complain.

Blow Me – apparently this was a single? Makes sense, it’s one of the tamer songs off the album that has a great chance to be iconic. Can see this becoming a TikTok hit (although, any song can be a TikTok song, honestly).

Jungle (Rico Nasty Remix) – so this is just Rico rapping on an already existing song (it’s only a couple weeks old). While Rico does her thing, it’s definitely a rapper just hopping on a “remix” kind of thing (like those Zedd and Calvin Harris rap song from the early 2010’s). But Imma need Rico to get more features like this. Anything to get her on the radio pls.

Dance Scream – a great little track. I think it’s more of an interlude more than anything. The ending is a bit weird however. Very abrupt.

Skullflower – another crack at hyperpop from Rico. It’s a good one. The only thing missing is that real catchy hook. But I like it, very drain gang.

Focus on Me – it’s interesting, I can kind of split this album after Jungle. This half does more of the sugar trap shit she has wanted to do for years. And I like it, but I don’t think it hits the same as that earlier half. Still solid, just different.

Always (skit) – she calls this a skit, but it’s more of an interlude. It’s good, but like many interludes, I’ll skip it more often than not. But hearing a track in the vein of Charli XCX and Caroline Polachek is always welcome.

Easy – Rico pouring her heart to us. Sing it to us queen! It’s great to just get her and a guitar, it gives. I like this version of Rico.

Into the Dark – so, it’s weird. This song is continuing the previous track’s mood. But it’s got a little too much in it, you feel me? A little too overproduced. I liked the stripped back feel of Easy, so we should’ve continued it! Also one of her weaker hooks.

Chicken Nugget – again, the production kinda throws this off. It’s clearly a love letter to her son, and it’s fucking well-written. But I just don’t get a sense of Rico as a person from it. It feels detached and cold, as opposed to warm and comforting. But that last bit with the message from her son was so tender and great. If the song was just that little part, it would’ve been a better ending!

I have been fucking with albums with a clear arc lately, and this is no exception. Rico did a fantastic job taking us along for this journey. The ending was a bit unfulfilled, but the overall package more than makes up for it! Thanks queen!!