Pretense & Circumstance

OFFICIAL TITLE OF THIS PIECE: HEADLICE

Someone in a white suit came into school today. They looked scary. I couldn’t even see their face. I wondered what was wrong. They told us to immediately go to the gym. Ms. Turner was upset. She had been itchy for a little while. But it didn’t seem different. My other friend Josiah was really itchy too. But it was all over his body. Cause he had no hair.

We walked over in one line to the gym. We passed Mr. Red’s room. It was empty, except for Jenny Q. She was crying and itching her hair. I felt bad, I wanted to hug her like I hugged her on Valentine’s Day. We kept walking to the gym. It looked like everyone was in the gym. There were more people in white suits. I think twelve of them. It looked like we were the last ones who came to the gym. Ms. Turner sat us down on the bleachers. She called us in class order, like usual. I was last on the list.

“Lilly A. Let’s go.” Ms. Turner touched her shoulder as they walked up to one of the people in the white suit. They sat her down in a chair. The person in the white suit started touching her hair. Lilly A didn’t like it. She started hitting the person in the suit. Ms. Turner had to come over. I was sitting next to Presley. She looked worried. She looked over to me.

“My mommy said there’s an infection. She didn’t even tuck me in last night.” She told me.

“Your mommy still tucks you in?” I asked.

Someone screamed on the other side of the gym. It was one of the people in the white suits. We could see it. It was a bug crawling up her arm. It was the biggest bug I have ever seen. The person yelled. The fifth grade teacher grabbed his cane and hit the bug off of the person. It died. The second graders started crying.

“Everyone stay calm please!” Principal Alison yelled to the rest of the gym.

Presley started crying, Josiah was yelling, Ms. Turner ran to the sixth grade music teacher. Lilly A started to get away from the person in the white suit. But then a bug crawled out of her head. It was bigger than the last one. Lilly A fell on the ground. It crawled toward Ms. Turner and the music teacher. They were running. I looked over toward Presley and she was gone. Everyone was gone. The gym was a mess. The fifth grade teacher was fighting two bugs the size of my mom’s car. The bugs screamed. I never heard that noise before.

The bugs started multiplying. The people in the white suits brought out guns that shot fire. Principal Alison was on the ground, sleeping I think. I saw Josiah with Presley on the other side of the gym. I ran toward them. Presley screamed and pointed. A bug the size of Montana was behind me, chasing me. It was drooling. It looked like my dog. I stared at the bug. Looking for a long time. It started screaming at me. I looked at the bug. I reached out my hand. The bug kept screaming.

“HARRY! HOLD MY HAND!” I looked over at the voice. It was Josiah. Presley was holding his hand too. I swallowed my spit and held his hand. But I kept reaching my hand toward the bug. It screamed one more time. I stared into its eyes. The gym became white, but I stared at the bug. I kept staring at the bug. Holding out my hand and holding Josiah’s. I became entranced. I moved into a new plane. Somewhere beyond Earth. A glimpse at the world as it was meant to be.

It was empty, engulfed in pure energy. It was as if everything that once existed, never did. An illuminating feeling. The body of mine on this mortal plane no longer existed. I was just existing. As if nothing else mattered. The bug was still there. Staring back into me. I was still holding Josiah’s hand. But he was no longer there. The bug started reaching for me. Trying to touch my hand and make contact. I didn’t feel any apprehension, in fact, I felt compelled. As if this were my destiny to fulfill. The bug touched my human skin. It started screaming again. But instead of it being grating or irritating, it was comforting. Like the purr of a kitten. I allowed myself to indulge in the pleasures beyond my control. I have never felt this way before. I took it all in. The bug stared back at me. I felt it become part of me. Part of who I was. It entered my body. No traces of struggle. The bug and I were one. In tune with it all. My hand fell to my waist. I closed my eyes as the bug was out of my view. I slowly became aware of my body. The energy was dissipating. I became aware of existence again. I remembered my parents, my worries, my reality.

I was sitting in a metal chair. Someone was touching my hair. I looked over and it was one of the people in white. It was a woman.

“Thank you for staying so still.” She said as she handed me a lollipop. I smiled back at her. Ms. Turner grabbed me and we walked back to class. The gym was pretty empty. The people in white took off their suits. They were just normal people.

On the way back to class with Ms. Turner, I looked back into Mr. Red’s class. Everyone was inside, sitting, learning. Jenny Q was staring out the window. Ms. Turner looked fine, she wasn’t itchy anymore.

“See that wasn’t so bad, right guys?” Ms. Turner said as I sat down at my desk. Josiah tapped me on the shoulder. His thick brown hair was longer than I remembered. He gave me a thumbs up. Ms. Turner started to teach again. I looked for a pencil in my backpack. I had to dig to the bottom to find my favorite one. It was green. When I grabbed it, I looked back up at Ms. Turner. And then I itched my head.

“fwiw i didnt think it go like this”

I sat on the edge of the curb outside of the police station. The clouds rolled into view as I waited. Officers walking in and out of the station. I was hit on. By a particularly portly officer who was still wearing his ring. His crew cut poorly complementing his pudgy face. My eyes gazed at the ring for a long while as he was trying to “spit game.” When I looked back up, he had already turned away, but not before muttering the word “bitch.” An inevitability.

“The rain is coming.” My dad thought out loud as we were driving away.

“Yeah.” I uttered back out of instinct.

I stared as the stores turned from Targets to Family Dollars. The road was bumpy. Dotted with potholes and uneven paved roads intended to be a band-aid. We ended up at home. The air as thick and muggy as the outside. My sisters were sleeping. Dinner was on the counter. Egg rolls and rice noodles with fish sauce. I plopped on the dinner table to eat. My dad stayed with me. We didn’t speak. I think he knew that if he did, I’d have started crying.

My boyfriend was arrested. He called me, so I took the bus to the station. Like so many partners in visitation, the officers looked at me with disdain. As if I had chosen this life. Maybe I did. The conversation between us didn’t go well. Like at all.

“Please don’t tell my mom or dad. They can’t know.” He begged.

“How can we afford bail? What are we gonna do?” I asked.

“I’ve got some money back at my place. My brothers will get it.” He said.

“Who’s going to tell them? You had only one phone call.” I snipped.

“You are. Please. Can you please help me out?” He looked at me with conviction.

“What are you even charged with?” I tried to avoid his gaze.

“Fake IDs. Nothing crazy.” He looked away as he said that.

I was staring at the ground. It was 11:31 at night. I looked back up at my dad.

“I need your keys.” I demanded.

“Why?” My dad asked back half worried, half confirming.

“I am going to bail him out.” I put on a brave face.

“With what money?” He asked.

“His brother’s” I sounded half desperate.

“Okay.”

It was raining now. A hard rain. The kind of rain you see in The Bible. The roads slick. The stores went from Family Dollars to Walmarts. It always took a long time to get to his house. The streets were particularly bad as no one here knows how to fucking drive in the rain. I called his youngest brother.

“What do you need?” He asked clearly still awake.

“Let me in without letting your parents know.” I said.

In an immigrant household, sneaking out and in is second nature. It’s almost as if they knew but didn’t care that their kids were leaving. As long as they make it home, that’s all that matters.

(I will try and finish this some day…)